This world is so wide that, even if you flitted around and around it, you would never reach the end of it. This blog is a collage of more or less literary and humorous, outlandish or sometimes even serious glimpses at this great wide world.
Friday, May 19, 2023
Kate and Anna McGarrigle: Mother Mother (1990)
Thursday, May 11, 2023
A moocher haiku
A haiku and I
were having coffee at Star-
Bux. You pay! it said.
– Leonard Blumfeld
Painting by J. B. with a little help from Artifice. As can be clearly seen, the haiku is only present in spirit.
Balzac, Balzac
Thursday, April 27, 2023
Seamstresses bent over sewing machines
AI art is a hot item in the crypto art collection scene and currently creates an enormous amount of hype. To investigate this hoopla a little bit myself, I went to one of the online generators that can be used to create such art.
You enter a text description, press the GENERATE button and wait for the piece of art to emerge on the screen in front of you.
The prompt I entered for the masterpiece above was “Portrait of a seamstress bent over a sewing machine”.
What I got from the machine was – lo and behold! – not only one but two seamstresses and two sewing machines.
While this idyll looks quite realistic in its 19th-century charm, you will notice some interesting anomalies when you take a closer look. Three of the hands, for example, are disfigured and/or have missing or superfluous fingers, and there are two fingers to the left of the front sewing machine that do not originate from any hand.
Did the artificial intelligence decide to play a trick on me because I did not pay for its services?
We shall never know.
– Yours artificially, Leonardo Blumfeld
Sunday, April 23, 2023
Las palabras y los días
También
hay unos días
sin palabras
– Leonardo Blumfeld (© 2023)
Nota
Hoy me he metido en vena castellana, inspirada por el libro de Octavio Paz con el título arriba.
Tuesday, March 28, 2023
Bullet Train (American Action Comedy, 2022)
Bullet Train
A solid bore
of blood and gore
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)
The two lines tell it all in a nutshell. This 2022 Brad Pitt starrer and Kill Bill derivative is to be recommended if you like to spend 127 minutes of your time listening to incessant claptrap about fate and karma, including shrink advice about good and bad luck from the voice of Sandra Bullock (who fortunately remains mostly unseen), yawning at endless twists and turns cropping up at every bend of the railroad track towards Kyoto and watching lots and lots and lots of blood and gore inflicted in the most various ways. Hallelujah! Another masterpiece delivered by stars desperately trying to hang on to past glory.
Photo above (still picture from the movie): Brian Tyree Henry as Lemon (one of the highlights, has some truly funny moments)
Thursday, March 23, 2023
A Dad Joke
A dad joke
Two peas are rolling along on the floor.
Says one to the other: Watch out! There is a step
ep
ep
ep
Thursday, February 23, 2023
Ala goes on a walk with grandpa
“Got to keep your eyes
on the ground, Ala!” – “Why? Are
there snakes?” – “No, dog shit.”
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)
Note
This year's first haiku published here, and on such a pertinent subject no less. It might not hurt, though, to occasionally remind a child that glides on wings (“Ala” means wing) of what's on the earth.
Sunday, February 12, 2023
How I got cheated by a machine
A true story from the AI age
On the machine, it said in big writing and with many illustrations, “Print photos from your Instagram.” There were no instructions, so I thought maybe the thing wanted cash first, and threw two 50 cent coins in the slot. It readily showed that now I had a credit of 1 €. No instructions on how to proceed, though.
Eventually, I got tired of waiting for nothing and pressed the red button to at least get my money back. No such luck!
I looked around for someone who looked like a competent contact person. No such luck, of course. There are no contact persons in the machine age.
Then I thought I heard some click and turned my attention back to the machine. There was, lo and behold, something in the output slot! I pulled it out and saw, much to my amazement, the two photos shown above.
I have no idea who these people are.
It’s like the machine communicated, after all, saying something like “Gotcha! I’ll keep your money – would never dream of giving anything back! – but you get something in return. Now don’t you complain!”
Lesson learned: Never trust vending machines pretending to be Instagram!
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)
Monday, February 6, 2023
Meow
Ever since there’s a cat in the house
everyone responds to his calls in meows.
Now, if it all were a bit clearer
true communication would be much nearer.
– Felix Morgenstern (© 2023)
(The photo shows the source of inspiration of this silly rhyme.)
Thursday, January 19, 2023
This song will make u feel sad even if you have nothing to be sad about ...
Angus & Julia Stone - I'm Not Yours
Wednesday, January 11, 2023
Blue
The year’s first haiku
Bla ble bli blo blu.
Foreign: blé blö blä blò blù.
And so are you too.
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)
Note
Undoubtedly not a good start. Or is it? Symbolisms galore in the photo: something in the mirror while getting passed by the future.
Monday, January 9, 2023
Wall art / New Delhi, India
Wall art found on a wall inside a house in New Delhi, India. Analog picture taken with a Diana Mini toy camera on Fuji C-200 film, scanned from negative and subjected to some cropping.
Saturday, December 3, 2022
Steely Dan & Steeleye Span
An imaginary dialog
“Huh?”
“I get ‘em mixed up, that’s all.”
“What? They’re worlds apart.”
“But they sound similar.”
“Get your ears checked, my dear.”
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Note
You might guess from the video above which between the two I prefer.
Proverbs from the Chinese XIII
Fox's joy is rabbit's cry.
Note
Remembered from some not-so-long-ago fortune cookie. Perhaps more direct and comprehensible than some I've previously posted.
Monday, November 28, 2022
The too little to live, too much to die haiku
Lenelio turned
seventy-seven today –
work, like every day
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Note
The truth and nothing but. Like many old people in the so-called rich countries of the West, my friend Lenelio must keep working to supplement his government pension, which is too little to live on – even though it is too much to die, as the saying goes.
Saturday, October 29, 2022
My Halloween Haiku
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Note
First-hand experience in Rome this afternoon as the whole city is getting ready for the carved pumpkin festival.
Photo by David Menidrey on Unsplash
Sunday, October 23, 2022
Bombairiya (2019)
Bombairiya is a 2019 Hindi film set, as the title implies, in Bombay - a combination of comedy / black comedy and crime -, directed by Pia Sukanya and starring Radhika Apte, Akshay Oberoi (shown in the screenshot above, the movie's romantic couple - even though the romance is mostly one-sided), Siddhanth Kapoor, Ravi Kishan and many others.
Much of it is screwball comedy, but the red thread that runs through is a crime story. The plot is somewhat hard to follow because of rapid changes of scene and the sheer number of people involved. I'd seen the movie before and finally managed to put things together during the second viewing, which was no less enjoyable due to the multitude of local details and interesting characters that make it charming and funny.
Sunday, September 25, 2022
Blues - a haiku
Irritable sky
then a classy big blues run
because of the greens
by Shinji Murakami
Friday, August 26, 2022
A random hot summer observation haiku
Lolling in her seat,
right hand hung out the window
like a wilted leaf.
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Note
Everything wilts in this seemingly endless summer heat.
Friday, August 5, 2022
Be Prepared
Be prepared. OK, but what for?
Find out in this extended ghost story for a young audience by Anne Adeney (illustrations by Yannick Robert, Pocket Chillers series by Harcourt Education)
Tuesday, July 12, 2022
The that’s progress haiku
Some programmer got
busy – made a box smaller,
saving room for adz.
– Leonard Blumfed (© 2022)
Note
The ugly truth and nothing but. Now that the Congrats box has been shrunk, Microsoft can not only display one ad but two at the same time! Pure genius! Just as we were getting undersugared from too few adz.
Terminology explanation
What are adz? Same as ads (advertisements), only much cheaper! It's like the difference between music and muzak.
Thursday, July 7, 2022
Suzhal – The Vortex
Tamil thriller series (season 1, 8 episodes), released in June 2022 on Amazon Prime Video. Written, produced and created by Pushkar-Gayathri, directed by Bramma G. and Anucharan Murugaiyan. The stars are Kathir, Aishwarya Rajesh, R. Parthiban and Sriya Reddy.
Set in the fictitious town of Sembaloor in Tamil Nadu, the series revolves around a police investigation in a missing person case as well as a fire at the local cement factory. All against the backdrop of a Hindu goddess festival, in the course of which the case gets solved.
Suspenseful, good acting, decent plot and dialogues. What more could you want?
Monday, June 27, 2022
Pardon me
if I sound naive,
but is baited breath like bad
breath? Would like to know.
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash
Saturday, May 7, 2022
The Melinda haiku
Dear Melinda, stop
putting your label on all
the apples you sell.
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Note
Melinda is probably Italy’s best known producer of apples and pears. Its products can be found in most supermarkets throughout the country. And each fruit comes with its own little sticky plastic Melinda label. The company’s website goes on and on about sustainability, bio, etc. How about really doing something good and leaving off the damn labels? Not only are they a nuisance to remove but they also create waste. How important can fruit branding really be?
Sunday, April 24, 2022
You think I'm lonesome? So do I, so do I
Most mornings I wake up with music going around in my head. Sometimes it's a piece I've heard the day before, but mostly these songs crop up out of the blue. Like many of the dreams I have, which are mostly weird and inexplicable.
The song this morning was Luxury Liner, written by Gram Parsons and performed by Emmylou Harris, and I have no explanation why this particular song and the particular line from it came to me. She and the Hot Band performed it during the 1977 concert of hers I attended in Munich, Germany. Well, that was a long time ago, no recent association there!
You think I'm lonesome?
So do I, so do I.
- Gram Parsons, Luxury Liner
Saturday, April 23, 2022
Gianmaria Testa: Aerial View
Germany, June 2011. Photo by Johannes Beilharz.
Aerial View
Of this aerial view
Almost nothing remains
The ghost of the steeple
No longer smiles
Gliding over the ancient hills
Again and again
You meet nothing
But worn-out straw hats
The glasses are empty
But no one notices
The glasses are empty
And no one notices.
And you
What will you do tomorrow
And you
What will you do tomorrow
Of this season gone I won't forget anything
Unless September insists
On erasing it
Talking again and again
About what has just been
I unwillingly wipe the salt
Off my hands
The glasses were full
And someone emptied them
The glasses were full
But someone emptied them
Now I know
What you'll do tomorrow
Now I know
What you'll do tomorrow
– Gianmaria Testa (1958-2016)
Title of Italian original: Veduta aerea. Translated by Johannes Beilharz (© 2022). The song is from the album Altre Latitudini of 2003.
The following video shows Gianmaria Test performing the song at another venue in the same area of Germany (Baden-Württemberg), the Franz K. in Reutlingen (May 4, 2010).
Thursday, April 21, 2022
The snot catcher haiku
Silver horseshoe
dangling from mademoiselle’s
dainty little nose.
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Note
I occasionally wonder whether there is a practical reason for this facial jewelry...
Friday, April 8, 2022
All the Old Knives - brief film review
A brand new spy movie just out on Amazon Prime – All the Old Knives (USA 2022, directed by Janus Metz Pedersen), based on the eponymous novel by Olen Steinhauer (2015).
Couldn’t say anything bad about this movie. Filming and acting – the stars include Chris Pine, Thandiwe Newton, Laurence Fishburne und Jonathan Pryce – are competent, and the plot, convoluted and meandering between past and present as it is, ultimately makes sense and keeps up the suspense. However, the film is more a somber, ponderous drama – with some sex and nudity thrown in for good measure – about the consequences of a highjacking gone wrong in the past than an action-packed thriller.
Product placement is quite obvious – I wonder how much a particular car brand had to pay for everyone to drive shiny new vehicles with the three-pronged star.
Would I recommend watching this film? It’s all right, but there’s no need to rush and get Amazon Prime just to see it. It strikes me as one of the many that come and go without leaving much of an impression.
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Friday, April 1, 2022
Slow March
When I posted the preceding haiku, I realized that I had not posted a single thing in all of March.
Guess I didn't have anything to say that couldn't wait 😃.
However, I also went on a trip for a week, being on the road in Italy, Switzerland and Germany. Of which the above photo is witness.
Taken in Chur, Switzerland. Leica R4 with 50 mm Summilux-R on Silberra Color 100 film, scanned from negative.
Much more of my photo work can be seen here (Tumblr) and here (Unsplash).
The unfashionable haiku
Dedicated to my dear wife
“No-one except you
wears wide cord pants – I don’t want
to be seen with you!”
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Monday, February 21, 2022
How to become a Bitcoin millionaire
It’s actually quite easy!
Have faith in the Bitcoin mails in your spam folder that arrive from all the generous and anonymous benefactors that miraculously deposit amazing amounts in your account – every day without fail!
Why are they doing that? No-one knows. Maybe they’re just lovely people, unlike most that send spam.
Simply have faith and look for Bitcoin in the mouth of every gift horse that gallops along.
Here’s one of these wonderful notifications that make you rich (in Spanish no less – ¡Ay caramba – qué maravilla!):
Sunday, February 20, 2022
One of us is lying
Mystery drama from 2021 (developed by Erica Saleh, based on the young adult novel of the same title by Karen McManus), currently showing on Netflix.
Suspenseful high-school whodunit with well-developed characters, decent acting and good cinematography.
Now that we know (or think we know) who done killed loathsome Simon at the end of episode 8, a Simon says text message throws a cloud of smoke that announces more to come in future series 2.
Thursday, February 10, 2022
The don’t take toilet breaks haiku
Went to the toilet. Came
back – a job had come and gone.
Lucky someone else.
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Note
Once again: the truth and nothing but.
In today's fast-paced always-on environment, going to the toilet for a minute or two can make the difference between getting and losing out on a job.
And I didn’t even go golfing! (Reference to Gary Kildall of Digital Research, developer of CP/M, an early PC-age rival of MS-DOS. Supposedly he turned down a meeting with IBM because he preferred to go golfing. The lucky winner was Bill Gates of Microsoft, who did have time for IBM and sold them on his operating system. This is the story as I remember hearing it in the 1980s - veracity not guaranteed.)
Monday, January 17, 2022
The quarantine haiku
Cat’s going crazy
from being cooped up. So am
I – in inner ways.
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Note
My own personal quarantine is over, thank God. However, all the restrictions still apply – mask, green pass, uncertainty, rules that keep changing at the drop of a hat without much rhyme or reason. Will this ever be over?
Thursday, January 13, 2022
The Tender Bar
Whatever rode George Clooney - whom I generally respect both as a director and an actor - to direct and produce this seemingly endless bore of a movie?
Nothing about it feels original or genuine - it comes off as a refurbished parts store. When you enter, you know you've seen all the parts (people, situations, locations) somewhere before, many times, in a variety of places and constellations from Hollywood or TV.
A collection of stereotypes and a waste of acting talent (it's not like Affleck etc. don't perform well).
I did not last through to the end. Maybe I've seen too many movies. But go ahead and see for yourself.
Monday, January 10, 2022
The corona haiku
Life dictated by
fever and saturation
readings – sheer terror.
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)
Note
Some reality from my battle with the virus. A bloody oxygen reading of less than 90%, so the doctors say, means you should be hospitalized.



















