The don’t take toilet breaks haiku

Went to the toilet. Came
back – a job had come and gone.
Lucky someone else.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)

Note
Once again: the truth and nothing but.
In today's fast-paced always-on environment, going to the toilet for a minute or two can make the difference between getting and losing out on a job.
And I didn’t even go golfing! (Reference to Gary Kildall of Digital Research, developer of CP/M, an early PC-age rival of MS-DOS. Supposedly he turned down a meeting with IBM because he preferred to go golfing. The lucky winner was Bill Gates of Microsoft, who did have time for IBM and sold them on his operating system. This is the story as I remember hearing it in the 1980s - veracity not guaranteed.)

The Windows update haiku

Walking around like
a tiger in a cage – Micro-
soft is updating.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Notes
The truth and nothing but. Well, except that I didn’t really turn into a tiger. But my anger is that of a caged big cat. It’s been going on for years – you are trying to get some work done while Microsoft nixes all your plans by doing an excruciatingly slow update it deems necessary for reasons even Microsoft probably doesn’t understand. Otherwise they would not constantly update their crap.

The punishment haiku

I’m being punished
by having to watch ads for
not wanting to pay

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2018)

Note
Whenever I want to play a silly game of solitaire in Windows 10, I get to see a bunch of silly ads for other silly games from Microsoft. Years ago, solitaire was a freebie Microsoft threw in with earlier Windows versions. Everything, including the most insipid stuff, is becoming increasingly monetized in this brave new world. And I mean brave in Aldous Huxley’s sense.

The oh Windows poem

(Small ode to updatitis)

My computer has just received
the latest Windows update

Which means it’ll be busy
Microsofting for an hour or so

Instead of doing
what it needs to do

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Once in a while I let Windows install an update and immediately regret it because it means that the PC will be slow as a snail for at least an hour afterwards doing God knows Microsoft what instead of working for me.