Pardon me

 

  

if I sound naive, 
but is baited breath like bad
breath? Would like to know.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)

Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

Proverbs from the Chinese XV

It is foolish to expect a cat to lay eggs.

Source: fortune cookie. 

Another definition of what fools might expect, I guess. Along the lines of the commonly quoted (and usually misattributed to Albert Einstein) “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

With the difference here being the point of view. This proverb does not claim that the cat might think it’s stupid. A true cat couldn't care less anyway...

The monosyllabic haiku

Oh! So, no if but 
and or what not like that true
no, no, it ain’t bro.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
The year and my blogs have gotten off to a slow start – took me until February to even think of posting something. And now it’s this mono-syllable thing that doesn’t say much, does it? Yes, I think it could be safely said that it is somewhat reticent in the meaning department.

Another bead of Chinese wisdom

“A lake is a failed attempt to break through to the sea.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Note
Again, I’m not sure what exactly the significance of this bead of Chinese wisdom is even though it might be considered to be true in some indirect way.

A bead of Chinese wisdom

“You never hear lambs complain about sheep’s milk.”

Note
I’m not sure what exactly the significance of this bead of Chinese wisdom is even though it is entirely true.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

A rhyming haiku

Take time; this is it – 
flowers will wilt, blossoms will 
drop, and you will sit.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2018)

Note
Thinking about my recent literary productivity (approaching zero), I thought: “Time for another haiku at least!” And this is it.

Oh sweet lord

Dear mom, as you go on to complain,
there's a delicious food on my brain

If I could have that apple crumble
I swear I'd instantly cease to mumble!

Contrary to present dismay,
this would result in a very happy day

– Felix Morgenstern (© 2018)

Note
For the longest time, this was an orphaned draft consisting of these words: "She was drawn to the apple crumble and could not resist. Having eaten it, though, left her" and had the draft title "Diet problems." As you can see, it was drastically rewritten and now ends on a happy note.

The sideburn haiku

That should do – shave off
the sideburns along with the
frontburns and backburns.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Wonder what it would look like if someone did that?

Love at first sight or breath or whatever

“You are so bouncily vapid!” she said breathily in that vapid girl band way.

I took it as a compliment and sort of nodded, not knowing what else to do.

“Let’s adjoin this, shall we?”

“OK.”

Upon which she took me by the hand and to the adjoining room. Bouncy on her bright red toenails.

(Where {...} happened – as it was all vapid bouncy imagination.)

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Note
Hardly requires any explanation, does it? 3WW supplied the words vapid, adjoining and bouncy, and I vapidly bounced on them to adjoin them.

Nonsense - and you shall be enabled

In a cinch, in a cinch
In a dank, in a dank
You shall be enabled

In a black, in a black
In a humor, in a humor
You shall later laugh

- Leonard Blumfeld (c 2016)

A poetic flash inspired by cinch, dank and enable from 3WW.

Disclaimer: may not always use words in their usual meaning.

The damn fine haiku

It was a fine poem
and was doing fine until
someone said stand down.
 
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2015)

Note
According to Ted Kooser and his column American Life in Poetry, American literature is full of fine poems. Yep, you got to pronounce that fine with some sort of corn belt accent to get the full meaning. The stand down part is popular in recent military Hollywood lingo. It is frequently used when we all (the audience) are meant to strongly feel that someone should actually not stand down. I added damn to the title because a damn fine poem is even finer than one that is just fine.

How ...

How can a lopsided blemish be so erect?

– Leonard "Minimalist" Blumfeld

Packaged for 3WW, where something was to be written using blemish, erect and lopsided.

The art movie haiku

So I decided
to make an art movie. Long
long shot of nothing.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

Note
Today’s horoscope said my creativity was going to be low today. But I tried anyway. The picture is a still from the movie – 90 minutes of showing the shadows play on my balcony.

In a jam

When in a jam
when in jam
when jamming

Jabbering away
with a swagger

You get my drift
you aren’t daft

Riverrun dry
riverrun open
riverrun die

Mikey mukey moke
is poetry a joke?

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

Notes
What brought this one about? 1. Reading some poetry by an eminent contemporary British poet that did not make the least bit of sense. 2. What's worse: I didn't even feel like trying to read some sense into it or break my poor unpoetic mind doing so. 3. I'd also read the riverrun quote* somewhere today, so it was lurking in the back of my mind.
Have a mukey poetry day!

*From James Joyce's Finnegans Wake (1939).

The electric bike ditty

(An electric bike-age homage to Dr. Seuss)

We like our bike, and this is why:
the battery does all the work
when the hills get high.

– Felix Morgenstern (© 2014)

The challenge at Poets United was to write a poem with a bicycling motif.

The rock, the mountain doubts the validity of his objectives

Today's horoscope read:

Do you doubt the validity of your objectives? Is it possible that you, the rock, the mountain, the bulldozer are having doubts? By golly, it is possible. While you are the master of concrete details, it seems you stumble when it comes to understanding the philosophy behind your plans. Assuming, of course, there is a philosophy. If not, this is the time to consider just what motivates you in your life...

Finally a horoscope that is halfway interesting and relevant!

Answers:
a. Yes, it is possible.
b. Most of the time I don't even feel like a rock or mountain.
c. I never feel like a bulldozer. It's nothing I aspire to be. Probably my tough luck!
d. I am into concrete details. Guilty of that.
e. Yes, I admit to stumbling.
f. Yes, I assume.
g. I am considering. Will let you know the results real soon.

Proverbs from the Chinese XII

"Never ponder a heave unless it is valid."

One more of those puzzling Chinese proverbs, but possibly just another bad translation. Anyway, it nicely contains today's three words from 3WW: heave, ponder and valid.

Somehow this leaves me pondering ...

Was it meant to say "Never heave a ponder unless ..."?

But even that does not seem particularly valid.

– Yours in Chinese mode Leonard Blumfeld

My Nature Haiku

Damn Nature! Why does
it include mosquitoes, a-
phids, gnats, bats and moths?

– Leonard “Loves Nature” Blumfeld (© 2012)

The call at Haiku Heights was for haiku on Nature. Not to be taken all that seriously – in fact, I quite like bats.

Proverbs from the Chinese X

Do not let yourself be drawn to uneasy crumble today.

Another fortune cookie text to leave me slightly perplexed. What is "uneasy crumble", and why should one not be drawn to it today? (Tomorrow might be ok, I guess.)

Once again, this coincides with the three words from 3WW – crumble, drawn, uneasy.

– Leonard "Crumble" Blumfeld

Two truculent ball attendants overheard

Mathilda showed up in her roo costume.
"Not good for waltzing, Matty," said John,
who himself had on his body costume.
Replied Mathilda, "Thank you, John Brown.
Yours definitely has me beat – it is
the very best for moldering in the grave."

– Leonard "Truculent" Blumfeld (© 2012)

The word at Sunday Scribblings was costume.