Thursday, August 1, 2019

Another bead of Chinese wisdom

“A lake is a failed attempt to break through to the sea.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Again, I’m not sure what exactly the significance of this bead of Chinese wisdom is even though it might be considered to be true in some indirect way.

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

The sowing the seeds of doubt haiku

A parked metal box, 
human talk issuing from 
it. Oh so what if.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

All based on experience from a few minutes ago. The last 4 words are doing the sowing.

Friday, June 14, 2019

A flash flat character study

Middle-aged woman on a walk with her friend: “And I of necessity take valerian.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

As I was walking along this morning, two women crossed my path, and I caught this fragment of conversation in Italian (“e io per forza prendo valeriana”). Let’s say this is an American sentence with an Italian character in it.

The clack clack haiku

Man in his fifties,
greying, in shorts, super tanned,
chews gum open-mouthed.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Pretty much compressed razor edge of time reporting. The tanned shorts variety of Leisure Suit Larry.

Monday, May 20, 2019

The Ice Saints Haiku

Coldest mid May in
decades, thunder rolling,
endless, endless rain

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

All true, nothing to add. Who are the Ice Saints?

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

The jomo haiku

Dear John, enjoyed not
being there among dfs
slurping aperol

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

As you (all 3 of you constituting my dear audience) know, JOMO stands for “joy of missing out.” It is with that emotion that I missed out on yet another apero party organized by a well-known expat yuppy organization in yet another umpteen star hotel bar in that capital of apero parties of the land of aperol spritz. As to what “dfs” may mean, give free reign to your imagination.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Paul, Apostle of Christ (2018)

A solemn solid bore.
(4-word movie review)

This refers to the 2018 movie Paul, Apostle of Christ written and directed by Andrew Hyatt and starring James Faulkner as Saint Paul and Jim Caviezel as Saint Luke. Could not bring myself to sit through this, presented by Sky in time for Easter 2019, for more than the first 20 minutes. Only die-hard Bible drama lovers might get something out of this.

Friday, April 5, 2019

The instagram profile haiku

Lives in Japan, has
Japanese name, takes pictures
of his aging cats.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

What do you really know about your numerous social network friends (apart from the ones you actually know in person)? Sometimes just some surface facts – as in the above haiku – that don’t amount to much. They remain, in E. M. Forster’s terminology (cf. Aspects of the Novel), rather flat characters that can be (insufficiently) described by one or two or three features.

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Hell hath no fury

greater than a 
next door neighbor with a 
hammer drill

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

The truth and nothing but, first hand. This man won't stop until there's a zillion holes in every wall. Here’s to William Congreve who is misquoted here.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

A winter variation

Run the water for
a minute, step in, avoid
touching the cold walls.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

The truth and nothing but about taking a shower in winter.

Thursday, February 7, 2019

The can’t trust bird shit haiku

Got shat on today,
but all of the numbers I 
drew were shitty duds.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Razor edge of time reporting from the truth front. I was debating with myself whether to make the haiku prettier by using “pretty” instead of “shitty”, but prettiness lost out. After all, it was shit that made me buy two lottery tickets.

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Mektoub, my love: canto uno

If you're ready to sit through 180 minutes of a multitude of characters - most of whom are hard to distinguish from one another -, endless banal gab reminiscent of the worst Eric Rohmer talkies, a drawn-out voyeuristic sex scene right at the beginning, an equally drawn-out sheep birth scene towards the end and never-ending bar, beach and restaurant scenes in between, then I would definitely recommend this French/Italian movie by Abdellatif Kechiche.
Refers to the movie Mektoub, My Love: Canto Uno from 2017, which for incomprehensible reasons won two awards at the 2017 Venice International Film Festival. After watching the film, I was so puzzled why it was ever made that I read synopses and articles about it on the Internet and wondered whether they were about the same movie or whether these articles were copied from something someone had written without seeing it.

Friday, January 25, 2019

The supersonic haiku

The TV talks, the radio 
talks, the people talk, the
pizza would if it could.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Based on a real pizzeria/bar experience. I decided to call this “supersonic” because the atmosphere created by the competing sound sources was definitely more than just sonic.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

A bead of Chinese wisdom

“You never hear lambs complain about sheep’s milk.”

I’m not sure what exactly the significance of this bead of Chinese wisdom is even though it is entirely true.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Friday, January 11, 2019

The eventful afternoon haiku

Fell asleep watching
Sherlock Holmes’ private life – not
a single thing missed

– Leonard Blumfled (© 2019)

Razor edge of time reporting from the real life front. The movie (The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, 1970), even though directed by Billy Wilder, who has made great films, is only worth a few yawns ... or sleeping through part of it.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

The new person heard about today haiku

named Scarlet now living in 
Miami. Good bye!

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

One of those truth and nothing but razor edge of time poems. Probably just as significant as the red wheelbarrow.