The flowers of speech haiku

Have been throwing kind
regards with every e-mail.
Please return in kind.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2021)

Notes
None (the truth and nothing but).

Three Madlib Haiku

In the shweet shugar
These sour mullein
A tall bravery

✧✧✧✧✧

In the silent query
This mute abyss
A menacing sweep

✧✧✧✧✧

In the stupid bitches
This impudent loftiness
A dry swirl

All by Basho & Joanna (© 2021)

Want to create Madlib haiku of your own? Click here.

Example of a 3rd person biography

 

“A windy and somniferous birdwatcher, Lean Mean Moran is an ambitious young dynamic emerging writer who roams the high and low lands and some more or less dubious neighborhoods of a lesser known Balkan country. On warm summer days you can find him in somebody’s backyard with his bong. He enjoys short and mindless hikes in the company of his I-Pod, expired USSR army outlet biscuits and reading Sylvia Bletch. One day, he is sure that he will die and hopes so. He has bled and published profusely in the realms of desktop perpetrators.”

The above recent photo shows Lean striking a favorite pose on the way to his Italian podologist.

Note
All aspiring writers looking to have their outpourings published are faced with the demand for that 3rd person biography that makes editors gasp. The above is a good example of what to write if you want to (not) get published. Of course, a hard-hitting bio such as this must go hand in hand with the proverbial poetry that contains fresh imagery and surprises even the most inured editor.

The onset of dementia haiku

Could not remember

Alka Yagnik. Thought her name

started with an S.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2021)

Notes

Managed to remember this super-important piece of poetry for several hours after composing it in my head in the car on the way to the dentist this morning. Not bad for an ageing memory, if I may say so myself. However, this should not detract from the alarming fact that it took me more than a day to remember the name of Alka Yagnik after hearing her sing in a Hindi movie a few days ago. Whereas I could easily remember the others whose voices graced the same film: Kumar Sanu, Udit Narayan and Lata Mangeshkar (who is impossible to forget anyway, right?).

Happy Sunday!

Some nasty little
yapper is spitting venom
outside and loves it.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2021)

Note
That too on Valentine’s day – when everything’s supposed to be lovey-dovey.

P.S:
You know me – when I come up with a title like ‘Happy Sunday’, it most likely won’t be all that happy. But there’s ‘loves’ in it after all.

LoL. – The Old Grump.

Baghdad Central: We Leave Tomorrow

 

Still picture from the British crime thriller series Baghdad Central (2020), based on the novel by Elliott Colla from 2014. 

The gripping and beautifully filmed series follows Iraqi policeman Muhsin al-Khafaji (shown in the screenshot above, played by Waleed Zuaiter) as he searches for his missing daughter in dysfunctional Baghdad. The series is set in Iraq in 2003 in the aftermath of the Second Gulf War.

A pretty haiku

Look at its eyes! Their
sparkle! Its luscious lips! Its 
cheeks! Their modest blush!

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2021)

Note
Nothing to be added. Could have made it even prettier if I hadn’t limited myself to haiku size.

A multilingual rain haiku

Rain. Regen. बारिश.

Pioggia. All day long il

pleut. ¡Para, lluvia!

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2021)

Note
Let’s hope this multilingual admonishment will help to put an end to the endless rain.

Today’s weather haiku

Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain.
A little lull. Rain. Drops. Rain.
Puddle. Rain. Rain. Rain.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2021)

Note
That is the poetic razor-edge-of-time report on the weather in Rome on this 3rd day of 2021.

Poltava to Lviv, January 17, 1942

Field marshal, felled by
stroke while jogging at minus 
forty. Passed on plane.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
Refers to German field marshal Walter von Reichenau, responsible for the massacre at Babi Yar in 1941. Reichenau was an enthusiastic supporter of sports and went on cross-country runs regularly. Having died in 1942, Reichenau was never convicted of war crimes but most certainly would have had he survived WWII. This haiku was indirectly inspired by reading about Yevgeny Yevtushenko’s poem Babiyy Yar (1961), which is about the massacre. 

A lesser known Neruda quote

And when I swanned myself again, I had become my own swimmer, my own beak.

Attributed to Chilean poet Pablo Neruda, translator and source unknown.

Notes
Came across this on a social network page today that, going by its other postings, is a jumble of things gleaned from here and there and anywhere. Of course, there was no mention of a source or context. Therefore it’s quite possible that someone made this up and attributed it to a famous poet to elevate its importance.

Another instructional haiku

Silence, when getting
too heavy, must be relieved.
How about a shriek?

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
Actually, I was going to write about my own silence getting too heavy, i.e. not writing was taking on monstrous proportions. The shriek therefore is this haiku. More of the unheard kind. Like one from the stone monster above.

Photo by Johannes Beilharz, taken at the Monster Park in Bomarzo, Italy.

The pupation of Donald Trump

 

This worm will always remain a worm.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020) 

Photo by Nick Windsor on Unsplash

The desperate letters haiku

 

Writing half-withered
letters to Sea, the under-
standing blue houseplant

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note:
Inspired by a haiku by N. Gutierrez, turned inside out and deformed in other ways.

Photo by Antonio Grosz on Unsplash

The James Schuyler haiku

 

He had Brahms and Bruno 
Walter – both long dead – engaged in
lively conversation.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
All true! See James Schuyler’s poem A Man in Blue from Freely Espousing (1969).

Bruno Walter, conductor and pianist (1876-1962)
Johannes Brahms, composer, pianist, conductor (1833-1897)

My life as a hunter and gatherer

was short-lived. I could 
not kill animals and found 
only acorns to eat.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
There are some, mostly male chauvinists, who proclaim that they were meant to be hunters (while women were meant to be gatherers, of course) and that the failure of many men in current society can be explained by the alienation that is due to them not being able to go after their hunting business. So I pictured this return to nature for myself for a second, did a mental reality check and quickly returned to contemporary amenities (for example, a computer to write and publish stuff).

The dark day haiku

Carry a flashlight
to walk the streets of Rome – it
is that dark today.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
The truth and nothing but. The seemingly endless scorchers of summer 2020 have come to a dark and wet end for the time being.

Dunking simplified

Put the cookie in
your mouth, sip coffee, wait
until soggy, down.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
There are people with dunking problems, e.g. if the cookie disintegrates when dunked in the coffee (or tea or milk or whatever). Follow the above haiku to avoid this. Try it!

PS: I was going to write “down the hatch” instead of “down”, but that would have violated haiku rules.

Leave A Note

Played around with one of Jennifer Dewalt's sites called Leave A Note.

These are notes I left:

No idea why I was thinking of the Beatles, but this sure was fun, like many other of her sites.

By the way: The correct reading sequence is to start from the bottom.

Monosyllabic again

Oh no! What now? So
we’re fucked? Can’t be all true, no
way, Ho Say! Right-ho.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
I seem to remember having written and posted a monosyllabic haiku (don’t remember it or what it might have been about – but I have a chronically bad memory for things I’ve written, so nothing new there). 
Well, here comes another one. It cheats a little bit, because José actually has two syllables. However, I don’t think this will upset anyone excessively. 
Anyway, the general bias goes well with this year, which might go down in history as a year that was effed up in many ways.

PS: Did research and found the other one.

The a bad part of creation haiku

Smells blood, lands on you, 

inserts stinger, injects

saliva, sucks your blood.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Notes

Mosquitos: one of the worst parts of creation ever invented. And no, Mr. Darwin, I don’t believe this could possibly have come about all by itself – too devious. Selection of the nastiest?

The Donald Trump haiku

The mover and shaker
has moved to another golf course
to shake a few clubs.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
Doing the only thing he might be half good at. Besides spreading lies and clapping for himself, of course. The haiku is slightly overfilled, like the man himself.

The amazing prowess of Goggle ... oops ... you know what

   

Goggle keeps amazing the world! 

   

Not only is it the world's best search engine (how bad must the others be!) according to Internet statistics that appear to be virtually unanimous, but it also offers Goggle docs, which allow you to do anything you could possibly want ... except buying food and eating it while you're working on your Goggle docs.

However, there's one thing it doesn't like ... and considers a potential "grammar" issue:

DO NOT USE GOGGLE INSTEAD OF GOOGLE

The Laura Nyro haiku

I like her looks more 
than her singing and songs. 
Strange as it may seem.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
The plain truth. Someone on tumblr recently posted a song by Laura Nyro, which reminded me of the one album of hers – New York Tendaberry – I have. As a consequence, I spent about half an hour listening to Nyro on youtube, coming to the conclusion that my love for her music and style of singing has not grown during about a decade of not listening. 

The Windows update haiku

Walking around like
a tiger in a cage – Micro-
soft is updating.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Notes
The truth and nothing but. Well, except that I didn’t really turn into a tiger. But my anger is that of a caged big cat. It’s been going on for years – you are trying to get some work done while Microsoft nixes all your plans by doing an excruciatingly slow update it deems necessary for reasons even Microsoft probably doesn’t understand. Otherwise they would not constantly update their crap.

The in the office haiku

In my back a sound – 
if short, it’s the rolling of
a tire, if long: rain

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
It turned out to be short. Since there was no engine noise, it must have been an electric car or a hybrid in electric mode. Can such dissimilar sources cause similar sounds? But both alternatives presented themselves to me without conscious reflection as I was sitting in my office with my back to the window, not bothering to turn around to verify.

He thinks he'll keep her (haiku #2318)

Clock. Carpenter. My.
Close to midnight. YouTube playing.
He thinks he’ll keep her.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
Pieces of disjointed truth and nothing but.

The perfect life haiku

She wanted a life
as perfect as what you see
in advertising.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
One of the common experiences with advertising is that you don't necessarily get what was advertised when you buy the product. Advertising has that special knack of making things look better than true. And an old wisdom says that if something looks too good to be true it most likely isn't true. Like the kind of life generally portrayed by advertising. It's better to think of it as staged and paid bliss, I'd say, subtracting at least 75 percent as a reality penalty.

Love for Sale 2

Della Dartyan in a still picture from Love for Sale 2

Love for Sale 2 is a 2019 Indonesian film directed by Andibachtiar Yusuf starring Della Dartyan (shown in photo), Adipati Dolken and Ratna Riantiarno.

Probably the one and only Indonesian movie I've ever seen. Considering that I don't speak the language and had to go by the (sometimes atrocious) English subtitles, I probably missed out on a lot. 

Being more of a character study, the film moves slowly and therefore takes patience. Even though there is budding romance between Ican (Dolken) and Arini (Dartyan), the hired girl Ican has introduced to his family because he is tired of his mother's wedding plans for him, this film is more focused on portraying a number of family members and other characters in a realistic manner.

Would I recommend watching this film? Yes. However, those who expect a racy love story due to the title will definitely be disappointed.

The monosyllabic haiku

Oh! So, no if but 
and or what not like that true
no, no, it ain’t bro.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
The year and my blogs have gotten off to a slow start – took me until February to even think of posting something. And now it’s this mono-syllable thing that doesn’t say much, does it? Yes, I think it could be safely said that it is somewhat reticent in the meaning department.

The freezing December night haiku

It’s just me and the
moon now, a noncommittal
cold stare from above.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Note
Once in a while it hits us all – the urge to involve the moon in poetry. This is the outcome of my latest moon wax attack. Thank God it’s from above. From below would definitely be spooky. Should have worn mittens and a warm hat on that imaginary December night walk.

The looking at an old picture haiku

Was she playing a
harmonica or was that 
a fake wide moustache?

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Note
You know those old photos – sharp, black and white and very small. So, I am unable to tell without a magnifying glass. I remember the hike we took in the mountains of Crete way back when but have no recollection of that harmonica or moustache instant. She’s standing on rocks under an olive tree with her hand held close to her mouth. As you would to hold a moustache in place or point to it or to hold and play a harmonica. Will we ever know?

The Zoya Factor

Sonam Kapoor in The Zoya Factor

Never thought I'd watch another cricket movie after Lagaan (2001) but then stumbled across The Zoya Factor on Netflix last night. It's funny, has an original love story and features excellent comical acting by the star, versatile Sonam Kapoor. No need to be a sports buff to enjoy this (de)light(ful) comedy!

A know-it-all

Even his “I don’t know anything about this” sounded like “I don’t know much more anything about this than you ever will.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

My favorite famous books

For Whom the Mockingbird Kills
A Tale of Two Dickens

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 1992)

Note

I suppose these books still need to be written. Being lazy, I haven’t gotten started. But they’ve been lingering in the back of my mind since 1992. Going forward, I’m already thinking of the movies they would make. Quentin Tarantino could direct the former. And Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx could star as the two dickens.

The stopped on Via Laurentina haiku

All five fingers of
right hand on her face, middle
pushing up nose tip

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Note
The truth and nothing but. Observed the driver of a car in the right lane while stuck in traffic this morning.

Bard of Blood

Sobhita Dhulipala and Emraan Hashmi in a scene from Bard of Blood

Bard of Blood is an Indian spy thriller TV series that premiered on Netflix in September 2019. The story roughly revolves around three Indian agents sent to Balochistan (Pakistan) to liberate four Indian agents who are being held captive by the Taliban. The story, based on the eponymous novel by Bilal Siddiqi, is not without holes, just like its hero, agent Adonis (played by Emraan Hashmi), is not without flaws - even though he's made out to be some sort of super duper spy ("only he can take on this mission") at the beginning. Enough said - the series is definitely suspenseful and worth watching, particularly because of the contemporary political context and the setting in Balochistan, an area of Pakistan that is full of natural beauty - and beautifully shot in some scenes - and usually does not get much media coverage.

Sunday haiku

Most haiku
fall flat
on their you know what

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Note
Lo! He’s broken his lasting poetic silence to come out with an underfilled haiku denigrating the genre, and that on Sunday. As to the you know what, there are two principal possibilities.

Another bead of Chinese wisdom

“A lake is a failed attempt to break through to the sea.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Note
Again, I’m not sure what exactly the significance of this bead of Chinese wisdom is even though it might be considered to be true in some indirect way.

The sowing the seeds of doubt haiku

A parked metal box, 
human talk issuing from 
it. Oh so what if.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Note
All based on experience from a few minutes ago. The last 4 words are doing the sowing.

A flash flat character study

Middle-aged woman on a walk with her friend: “And I of necessity take valerian.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Note
As I was walking along this morning, two women crossed my path, and I caught this fragment of conversation in Italian (“e io per forza prendo valeriana”). Let’s say this is an American sentence with an Italian character in it.

The clack clack haiku

Man in his fifties,
greying, in shorts, super tanned,
chews gum open-mouthed.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Note
Pretty much compressed razor edge of time reporting. The tanned shorts variety of Leisure Suit Larry.

The Ice Saints Haiku

Coldest mid May in
decades, thunder rolling,
endless, endless rain

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2019)

Note
All true, nothing to add. Who are the Ice Saints?