The big business haiku

Spotless pin stripe suits
and nothing but shit in their
dirty underpants.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Would I ever write a haiku without a note? Naw!
This little one is pretty much self-explanatory, I would think. For anyone who might not get it: big business is two-faced ... on the pretty side it’s all advertising (premium products, service excellence, best customer experience, bla bla bla), on the stinky side it’s all about exploiting their workers and suppliers down to the shameless hilt (and preferably beyond). Anything that serves the greed of the top tier and makes them rich.

Time travel Bengali style

(Another one-line movie quickshot)

Abby Sen (2015) is a beautifully filmed time travel drama/comedy that is well worth watching - but do not expect this to be an action movie; this is a detail and character-oriented film that takes its time and is ultimately very rewarding.

Directed by Atanu Ghosh, starring Abir Chatterjee, Raima Sen, Chiranjeet Chakraborty, Bratya Basu, and Priyanka Sarkar.

The oh Windows poem

(Small ode to updatitis)

My computer has just received
the latest Windows update

Which means it’ll be busy
Microsofting for an hour or so

Instead of doing
what it needs to do

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Once in a while I let Windows install an update and immediately regret it because it means that the PC will be slow as a snail for at least an hour afterwards doing God knows Microsoft what instead of working for me.

The failed poetry haiku

Objects juxtaposed
and not filled with poetic
meaning – fail! Fail! Fie!

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Elucidating note
Such objects or emotional weight carriers might be, for example: evening, window across, still unbegun, longing, promise, return, unspoken, unsaid, arm of love, fingers touching the heart, castles in the air (don’t call them pipe dreams, that removes the poetic component), etc.

The age of well-ventilated knees

These days of torn pants may well be remembered as the age of well-ventilated knees by future generations.

(Who knows - doctors may remember them best for the increase in osteoarthritis ...)

The opium haiku

This so-called fragrance
is an allergen. Makes me
sneeze. Kills small animals.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Based on facts! Even though at least one person I know and love would contradict me vehemently and keeps wearing it.

Disclaimer
Does not refer to the drug.

Gods of Egypt

(Another movie one-liner)

An overblown piece of Hollywood fantacrap with shitloads of tiring special effects – don't waste your time and money on this one.

– Leonard Blumfeld

Note
Refers to the 2016 film Gods of Egypt, directed by Alex Proyas and starring Gerard Butler – darkened somewhat to look particularly sinister – and a slew of other ethnically incorrect white actors. If you want to find out something worthwhile about ancient Egypt or Egyptian deities, give this bore a miss and visit your local library.

The sideburn haiku

That should do – shave off
the sideburns along with the
frontburns and backburns.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Wonder what it would look like if someone did that?

Happy happy felicity

The Linguasso Text Collage generator is alive and well! It generated this collage for me and made me chuckle heartily. Try it out for yourself ...

A mostly stolen haiku

In the box
nothing
laughing

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
What happened here is that I read someone’s haiku, which had something (some object I can’t recall) in place of the nothing and seemed quite flat. So, to pep things up a bit and introduce some leaping* element, I used nothing instead. Try to imagine nothing laughing. What would that laughter look like/sound like? Nothing has no face, no voice. Quite apart from the fact that this haiku is seriously underfilled by common syllabic standards.

* Cf. Robert Bly, Leaping Poetry