A slight heel problem

 

– Alexa, medium height!
– Yes, ma’am.
– Not me, stupid! My heels!
– Can’t hear you, ma’am.
– I’m shrinking! I’m getting smaller! What do I do?
– I can’t answer that, ma’am.
– You were supposed to lower my heels, not me, dumbcluck!
– Sorry, can’t hear you. Too much background noise.
– Get me back to full size immediately!
– Your heels? All 18 inches?
– Me, you idiot! All 5 feet 8 of me!
– Were you really that tall before?

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2025)

Note

The other day I learned that adjustable heels exist, so that you can adjust your footwear to low, medium or high. Based on the fact that everything must be controllable remotely nowadays – be it via smartphone app or a remote control –, I was inspired to imagine what such technology might do if misdirected or going wrong.

Mrs. A’s sweet dilemma

“Today I have a slight headache – probably overdid it at the Tutta birthday party ... hmmm ... I think the Lamborghini might be the cure for that. Or not? 
Maybe the Rolls because of its softer springing? 
Where do I have to go anyway? – Ah yes, the golf course to meet hubby. 
It’s going to be so hot there! Thank God there’s a highly effective AC in the clubhouse. 
Which one reflects our status more accurately? – Tell me, dear Sher Singh – Italian or British?”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2024)

Photo credit
AI - no real people or cars are shown here.

The Francis Bacon face haiku

Looks like TV on
a windy day disturbing
the satellite dish.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Note
This poem was inspired by true events – we have a big eucalyptus outside whose branches and leaves interfere with satellite reception and cause such Bacon-like distorted faces. (Alludes to the 20th century artist (1909-1992), not the Elizabethan philosopher.)