A slight heel problem

 

– Alexa, medium height!
– Yes, ma’am.
– Not me, stupid! My heels!
– Can’t hear you, ma’am.
– I’m shrinking! I’m getting smaller! What do I do?
– I can’t answer that, ma’am.
– You were supposed to lower my heels, not me, dumbcluck!
– Sorry, can’t hear you. Too much background noise.
– Get me back to full size immediately!
– Your heels? All 18 inches?
– Me, you idiot! All 5 feet 8 of me!
– Were you really that tall before?

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2025)

Note

The other day I learned that adjustable heels exist, so that you can adjust your footwear to low, medium or high. Based on the fact that everything must be controllable remotely nowadays – be it via smartphone app or a remote control –, I was inspired to imagine what such technology might do if misdirected or going wrong.

No respect, no tears good-bye

 

Discarded technology

Title chosen in variation of lyrics by Tom Rush ("no regrets / no tears good-bye").

Once a means of communication, now a piece of high-tech trash carelessly thrown away. Photographed in Rome, but this could be just about anywhere on the planet.

Old movie

 

“That’s an old movie – you can tell by the cell phones they’re using.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2024)

Note
This was said by a relatively young person (born in 1986). Makes me feel downright ancient because old movies to me are still those that were made in the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s. They definitely used rotary phones in those days – if any.

The retarded haiku

This poem is slow.
Even the fast events in
it occur slowly.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)


Note
Woke up at 6:15 a.m. with this on my mind and got up to go to the toilet and to write it down. Didn't want to turn the computer on, so I wrote it as an e-mail on my cell and sent it to myself. How the miracles of technology favor poetry!

This happened on April 16. Rediscovered the e-mail a few days ago.

And now it's finally seeing the light of the (electronic) world after the darkness of electronic storage. Wow!