Bullet Train (American Action Comedy, 2022)

Bullet Train

A solid bore
of blood and gore

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)

The two lines tell it all in a nutshell. This 2022 Brad Pitt starrer and Kill Bill derivative is to be recommended if you like to spend 127 minutes of your time listening to incessant claptrap about fate and karma, including shrink advice about good and bad luck from the voice of Sandra Bullock (who fortunately remains mostly unseen), yawning at endless twists and turns cropping up at every bend of the railroad track towards Kyoto and watching lots and lots and lots of blood and gore inflicted in the most various ways. Hallelujah! Another masterpiece delivered by stars desperately trying to hang on to past glory.

Photo above (still picture from the movie): Brian Tyree Henry as Lemon (one of the highlights, has some truly funny moments)

A dad joke

Two peas are rolling along on the floor.

Says one to the other: Watch out! There is a step

                                                                                ep 

                                                                                       ep 

                                                                                               ep 

Ala goes on a walk with grandpa

 

“Got to keep your eyes
on the ground, Ala!” – “Why? Are
there snakes?” – “No, dog shit.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)

Note
This year's first haiku published here, and on such a pertinent subject no less. It might not hurt, though, to occasionally remind a child that glides on wings (“Ala” means wing) of what's on the earth.

How I got cheated by a machine

 

A true story from the AI age

On the machine, it said in big writing and with many illustrations, “Print photos from your Instagram.” There were no instructions, so I thought maybe the thing wanted cash first, and threw two 50 cent coins in the slot. It readily showed that now I had a credit of 1 €. No instructions on how to proceed, though.

Eventually, I got tired of waiting for nothing and pressed the red button to at least get my money back. No such luck! 

I looked around for someone who looked like a competent contact person. No such luck, of course. There are no contact persons in the machine age. 

Then I thought I heard some click and turned my attention back to the machine. There was, lo and behold, something in the output slot! I pulled it out and saw, much to my amazement, the two photos shown above. 

I have no idea who these people are. 

It’s like the machine communicated, after all, saying something like “Gotcha! I’ll keep your money – would never dream of giving anything back! – but you get something in return. Now don’t you complain!” 

Lesson learned: Never trust vending machines pretending to be Instagram!

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)

Meow

 

Ever since there’s a cat in the house
everyone responds to his calls in meows.
Now, if it all were a bit clearer
true communication would be much nearer.

– Felix Morgenstern (© 2023)

(The photo shows the source of inspiration of this silly rhyme.)

This song will make u feel sad even if you have nothing to be sad about ...

Angus & Julia Stone - I'm Not Yours

Came across this song when watching the crime thriller Above Suspicion (2019), based on a true story (murder of Susan Smith by FBI agent Mark Putnam in 1989) - it is the song playing at the end of the movie.

Blue

 

The year’s first haiku

Bla ble bli blo blu.

Foreign: blé blö blä blò blù.

And so are you too.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)

Note
Undoubtedly not a good start. Or is it? Symbolisms galore in the photo: something in the mirror while getting passed by the future.

Wall art / New Delhi, India

 Wall art found on a wall inside a house in New Delhi, India. Analog picture taken with a Diana Mini toy camera on Fuji C-200 film, scanned from negative and subjected to some cropping.

Steely Dan & Steeleye Span

An imaginary dialog

“Huh?”
“I get ‘em mixed up, that’s all.”
“What? They’re worlds apart.”
“But they sound similar.”
“Get your ears checked, my dear.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)

Note
You might guess from the video above which between the two I prefer.

Proverbs from the Chinese XIII

Fox's joy is rabbit's cry.

Note
Remembered from some not-so-long-ago fortune cookie. Perhaps more direct and comprehensible than some I've previously posted.