A dad joke

Two peas are rolling along on the floor.

Says one to the other: Watch out! There is a step

                                                                                ep 

                                                                                       ep 

                                                                                               ep 

Ala goes on a walk with grandpa

 

“Got to keep your eyes
on the ground, Ala!” – “Why? Are
there snakes?” – “No, dog shit.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)

Note
This year's first haiku published here, and on such a pertinent subject no less. It might not hurt, though, to occasionally remind a child that glides on wings (“Ala” means wing) of what's on the earth.

How I got cheated by a machine

 

A true story from the AI age

On the machine, it said in big writing and with many illustrations, “Print photos from your Instagram.” There were no instructions, so I thought maybe the thing wanted cash first, and threw two 50 cent coins in the slot. It readily showed that now I had a credit of 1 €. No instructions on how to proceed, though.

Eventually, I got tired of waiting for nothing and pressed the red button to at least get my money back. No such luck! 

I looked around for someone who looked like a competent contact person. No such luck, of course. There are no contact persons in the machine age. 

Then I thought I heard some click and turned my attention back to the machine. There was, lo and behold, something in the output slot! I pulled it out and saw, much to my amazement, the two photos shown above. 

I have no idea who these people are. 

It’s like the machine communicated, after all, saying something like “Gotcha! I’ll keep your money – would never dream of giving anything back! – but you get something in return. Now don’t you complain!” 

Lesson learned: Never trust vending machines pretending to be Instagram!

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)

Meow

 

Ever since there’s a cat in the house
everyone responds to his calls in meows.
Now, if it all were a bit clearer
true communication would be much nearer.

– Felix Morgenstern (© 2023)

(The photo shows the source of inspiration of this silly rhyme.)

This song will make u feel sad even if you have nothing to be sad about ...

Angus & Julia Stone - I'm Not Yours

Came across this song when watching the crime thriller Above Suspicion (2019), based on a true story (murder of Susan Smith by FBI agent Mark Putnam in 1989) - it is the song playing at the end of the movie.

Blue

 

The year’s first haiku

Bla ble bli blo blu.

Foreign: blé blö blä blò blù.

And so are you too.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2023)

Note
Undoubtedly not a good start. Or is it? Symbolisms galore in the photo: something in the mirror while getting passed by the future.

Wall art / New Delhi, India

 Wall art found on a wall inside a house in New Delhi, India. Analog picture taken with a Diana Mini toy camera on Fuji C-200 film, scanned from negative and subjected to some cropping.

Steely Dan & Steeleye Span

An imaginary dialog

“Huh?”
“I get ‘em mixed up, that’s all.”
“What? They’re worlds apart.”
“But they sound similar.”
“Get your ears checked, my dear.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)

Note
You might guess from the video above which between the two I prefer.

Proverbs from the Chinese XIII

Fox's joy is rabbit's cry.

Note
Remembered from some not-so-long-ago fortune cookie. Perhaps more direct and comprehensible than some I've previously posted.

The too little to live, too much to die haiku

Lenelio turned
seventy-seven today – 
work, like every day

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2022)

Note
The truth and nothing but. Like many old people in the so-called rich countries of the West, my friend Lenelio must keep working to supplement his government pension, which is too little to live on – even though it is too much to die, as the saying goes.