The conclusive haiku

You were about to fail
the practical part. But I
was sure you’d prevail.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

Note
The other night I had a dream about a friend. In the dream, she was trying to get her driver's license, which was probably not going to be easy, considering she's over forty and has never driven a car before. She asked me whether she was going to pass. Somehow I knew she'd fail the practical part the first time around, but I also knew that she would eventually pass. Why did I know this? Because concealed in my right hand I held a small black lacquered box, and because of something inside that box I knew. Strange. But that's how dreams are.

Posted to Poets United.

Everything will work out

Don't lose heart and continue with your efforts - everything will work out.

Those were the soothing words the Astrocenter tarot reading had for me. After advising me that today might be kind of tough going...

Let's see what happens.

408311

Have you ever noticed that some PINs – or number combinations in general – are much easier to remember than others?

The generator gave me 408311 today, which struck me as one of the ones you need to look at twice before you enter it.

On the other hand, there are some numbers that are so good they stay with you for ever and ever. Like my first Colorado license plate: MW 9552. Even though I can't explain exactly why I find this one easy to recall...

Anyway: have a good day!

The imitation Picasso haiku

Some eyes like targets
somewhere, some nippled boobs,
a hoof, Mae West lips.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

Note
Inspired by a painting from a Berlin art show photo. Would love to reproduce it here for better understanding, but fairness forbids.

Roja

Watched Mani Ratnam's Roja from 1992 again after a long time. Enjoyed it immensely (despite its obvious flaws). Fabulous music by A. R. Rahman.

Oh help me

My muze
has got the blues

She couldn’t care less –
so there goes any hope for success

– Felix Morgenstern (© 2014)

A silly ditty written for Poets United.

The Mark Rothko haiku

Two bed sheets, one black,
the other vaguely blue, strung
together to dry.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

Note
You might have guessed it: Mark Rothko is not among my favorite painters. Even though the entire art world seems to be all gaga about his big two- or three-colored bed sheets.

New Google Maps

The new Google Maps is SHIT.

Why does Google proclaim this is easier to use? The exact opposite is true.

All the essential tools and options are no longer displayed where they used to be (and should be), but hidden behind some nincompoop icon.

The Roman neighbor girl on Saturday morning haiku

This house has thin walls –
and she’s already on a
full-fledged whinging binge.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

The truth and nothing but the (un)poetic truth. Razor edge of time reporting.

The Modigliani haiku

Squinty little eyes
and narrow face? Good chance it’s
an Amedeo.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

Note
The above painting is Gypsy woman with baby (1919) by Amedeo Modigliani.

The no idea haiku

This one has not a
single idea. It lives in
things, in things only.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

Note
This one toys with the well-known and often quoted William Carlos Williams’ statement “No ideas but in things.” Actually, it fails on both accounts – it has neither ideas nor things... It is a very reticent poem, one might say.

Recommended viewing: Poets United.

The knife haiku

You looked so sharp this
morning! But now, after work,
you look rather dull...

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

Inspired by Haiku Heights and Sharp.

The John Singer Sargent haiku

John Singer Sargent, White Dresses (1911)

Two women slain in
battle? No – white dresses in
peace on parched grass...

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

Note
When I first glimpsed this painting, my initial flash was that it represented an after-battle scene – bodies strewn on the ground, limbs sticking up.
The first real haiku I've written in a while ... with that sudden flash of recognition in the second half.

The kitchen mishap haiku

Big coffee puddle
on kitchen floor. No-one to
tell me who done it.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2014)

Note
Derived from a dream I had last night. Tons of unknown people, all German, were milling around the family cabin in the Black Forest, which, in reality, was torn down a few years ago because of sad neglect. Someone had made the above-mentioned coffee puddle. In the dream I did not ask who had, supplying the explanation in my mind that these people did not know the place and were obviously incompetent as well. Was too shy to out myself as the one who had known this cabin since childhood. Now what do you make of such a dream?
By the way: happy new year!

The rear gear haiku

I’m in backwards mode
again today, where I want
nothing of this world.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Note
Do you ever go through these moods where everything seems futile? Where cell phones, movies, social media hoopla, poems, paintings, consumerism and poop seem all the same? Where you sort of feel like Buddha, wanting to spend the rest of your life sitting at some intersection somewhere in Bihar, having nothing and wanting nothing? You do? Then you know what this haiku is about.

The thanks haiku

For S.

Thank you India,
thank you Sadhana! Thanks!
You’ve been good to me.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

It's the thanksgiving time of the year, and I'm joining in along with Haiku Heights.

I must admit that the first line was inspired by Alanis Morisette's song Thank U, so I'm also giving thanks to that song:

Writing in Montreux

The Jethro Tull said hi,
bonjour, grüezi* in Montreux
and proceeded to play.
And I’ve almost finished my
seven lines in Montreux,
looking out on the lake,
listening from far away.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

*Swiss German greeting (more or less like "good day!")


The challenge was to write seven lines in a place where one has never written before:

One poem.

7 lines in length. 

Make it perfect.

Poets United

Selfie, helfie, shelfie, footsie - new words explained and illustrated

While watching the news on Al Jazeera this morning, I learned some new words from a short special they did.

Selfie – a self-portrait shot with a smartphone and shared on a social media site. Apparently invented in Australia in 2002.

(The example shown is actually a double selfie. Looks like I'm about to say something to myself.)


Helfie – a self-portrait showing only the hair or top of the head of the person.

(Low-quality, taken with front camera.)


Shelfie – a self-portrait taken in front of a book shelf.

(Shows my erudite and eclectic taste in books and some knicknacks gathered over the years, just like a proper shelfie should.)


Footsie – well, that's my own little gift to social media. A traditional footsie (foot shot).

Common features of all four are a. shot with a smartphone and b. shared using social media.

Bless the weird world of social media!

All pictures taken with a Sony Ericsson Xperia.

Jotted down

Don't just get caught up in the rush of the day, LEONARD. You could have a feeling of acceleration, like time is flowing by too quickly. But if you can take a few minutes and breathe, you could have some important insights. Your analytical mind is processing lots of information now, and you could come up with some exciting concepts. Take moment to jot your thoughts down so that they aren't lost!

(Today's web horoscope)

So the first thing I jotted down right on command was the horoscope itself, easy as 1-2-3. Thank you, Windows, thank you, Cut, & thank you, Paste.

Time is flowing by too quickly. I've been complaining about that for years to that elusive goddess called Time.

That is the first important insight, no matter that I've had it many times before. And what good has it done (like most important insights)!

My mind is indeed processing lots of information, albeit in a somewhat dazed state. Comes with Monday morning.

So these thoughts jotted down. No guarantee, though, that they won't be lost.

PS1: I love that personal computerized LEONARD. My horoscope knows me!
PS2: Added a picture from the scene of the crime.

The seven days haiku

Seven more days! I’ll
be waiting at the station
for her to arrive...

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

A contribution to Haiku Heights and Seven.

Note
Actually a very abbreviated version of one of my favorite Bob Dylan songs – Seven more days.
This one is more or less fictitous (but I do wait for my love regularly, about five days out of seven).

Seven more days in a live performance by Ron Wood:

The limited appeal horoscope

This was in the mail this morning:

Today, being slightly more aggressive than usual would heighten your appeal, which is limited by Neptunian fog.

I'll try, I'll try! I am worried about my appeal.

(But could anyone explain to me what Neptunian fog is and why Neptune has it out for me?)

– Leonard Blumfeld

Happens to include the words aggressive, heighten and limited, which were demanded by 3WW today.

The Let Them Eat Cake Variant Haiku

Grass cake, grass pudding,
grass soup, grass dumplings in grass
sauce should fatten you.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Written on the theme of grass at Haiku Heights.

Alludes to the quote ‘Let them eat cake’ misattributed to Marie Antoinette, queen of France, beheaded in 1793, and a satirical film about the Ceausescu regime of Romania, in which the dictator’s wife recommended grass as a solution for the starving Romanians.

The lifetime achievement haiku

Pointed hats, pointed
people in undershirts and
different attire.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

First haiku in the artists haiku series.

Tarot and horoscope today

Tarot says:

Your emotional situation isn't that great today. With the Hanged Man and the High Priestess there's precious little chance of you spreading your wings. You're feeling rather discouraged and apathetic about work and towards those close to you, or towards your partner if you have one. Don't let it get you down - the sun's bound to shine tomorrow! At work, you may feel that your abilities are not being fully appreciated. Despite the obvious talents lavished upon you by the Empress, the Hanged Man is about to sow the seeds of doubt in the admiration of your colleagues or your friends. You'll do everything right and then you'll be criticized for doing a bad job! The image people have of you today will be enough to drive you crazy!

 Horoscope says:

You could feel lighthearted and a bit silly. Your sense of humor will be stimulated. People don't always realize that you are a kid at heart! You might spend some time cracking funny jokes. Or you could have fun sending some silly e-mails to your friends. You'll be entertained by TV or movie comedies. You might even come up with a comedy routine of your own. Celebrate the laughter in your life. 

Theoretically, if there was some universal truth to tarot and horoscope, these two should have something in common for the same person on the same day.

So – what to make of this?
a. The two do not seem to have a common denominator.
b. Thank God I don't have to work today, so will hopefully do without the seeds of doubt in my colleagues and my poor image.
c. In view of b., I'll skip the silly e-mails to my friends suggested by the horoscope.
d. Pretty poor universal/celestial/spiritual showing from whoever did tarot/horoscope.

The den haiku

The lion’s den – used
to be the dragon’s lair – what
awful putrid strench!

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Written for Haiku Heights and den.

Note
More than anything, this one plays with fixed expressions and treats them literally.

The black haiku

I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
– The Rolling Stones, Paint It Black

You said, paint it black,
so I did. Now everyone
calls me negative.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Written for Haiku Heights and black.

Note
Goes to show that you should not always listen to what people say.

The myth haiku

Myth is alive, myth
is afoot, myth never died.
Naked myth does thrive.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Instigated by Haiku Heights and myth, with a huge dose of inspiration from the Leonard Cohen/Buffy Sainte-Marie song God is Alive, Magic is Afoot.

Notes
Myth is rampant in this oh so scientific age. For example, the myth that we should get a new cell phone at least once a year in order to always stay connected in the latest ways, to keep up with the Joneses and to fill the pockets of Tim Cook and other CEOs. Or the myth that freedom can coexist with the NSA spying on everyone and everything in the whole wide world. Etc.

Proverbs from the Chinese XIII

Easygoing handsome facts are in the air for you today.

This was today's original Chinese horoscope.
Can't wait to be faced with these easygoing handsome facts!
(It's usually the hard and ugly facts that cause you pain.)
As to their carrier – the air –, it is cool and breezy today – full of the promise of those pleasant facts ...

– Leonard "Loves Facts" Blumfeld (© 2013)

Posted for 3WW (easygoing –  handscome – fact).

The butter haiku

You sweet and creamy
thing! How you get slandered as
saturated fat!

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Written for Haiku Heights and butter.

Notes
No comment needed for this one.

The chirpy haiku

Be chirpy, show this
rotten day some teeth, smile, go
beyond yourself, chirp!

Written for Haiku Heights and chirp.

Note
Written not because today is a rotten day, but just in case.
It's always good to have that kind of encouragement – good for pulling oneself out of the dumps.
Especially for writers. Go ahead: chirp, twitter, tweet or write!

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

The dreadful haiku

Dr. Dread hands me
another exciting glass:
dread or be dreaded.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Inspired by Haiku Heights and dread.

Note
This one is about choice, but actually more about the fundamental error of black versus white choice situations into which we see ourselves put occasionally. The choice is not between dread or be dreaded. The choice is not to have to accept the glass from Dr. Dread.

The carnival haiku

Thoughts and feelings in
a spin, force-pulled blue horses
jumping up and down.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Inspired by Haiku Heights and carnival.

Inevitable author's note
Can't shed much light on the workings of this one.
The word carnival reminded me of the little permanent carnival in the neighborhood, which hardly ever seems to get visitors, so I'm wondering how it manages to survive.
My thoughts (more so than my feelings) are indeed in a spin, probably as a result of having strong coffee.
That's all, folks, I'm afraid.

The rain in Rome haiku

The Italian
nation wilts in rain, stays home
or visits temples*.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

*These, of course, are no longer the temples of Jupiter or Jehova, but their modern equivalent: the shopping centers or temples of consumerism, which offer free shelter from the wet element.

Author's note
As if I could ever leave a haiku without a note!
Once again, what this one says is (mostly) the truth and razor edge of time reporting because it is raining in Rome.
Also, I must apologize for using the present of wilted.

Written for Haiku Heights and wilted.

The long lost river haiku

The long river flows –
song heard on radio long
ago. Who sings it?

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Evoked by Haiku Heights and river.

Note
Completely true once again – nothing invented. Heard this song on the radio about 40 years ago. Never have heard it again. But have never forgotten it. Or should I say: never forgotten the memory of it. Memory works in the strangest ways.

The no shit haiku

I’m lucky, I’m lucky,
I can walk under ladders
– Joan Armatrading

You saw a black cat
killed under a ladder on
Friday the 13th?

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Written upon inspiration by Haiku Heights and superstition.

Author's note and disclaimer
Rest assured: no such thing happened.
No animals were harmed during the making of this haiku.

The tradition haiku

Abolition would
be a good and proper end
to some traditions.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Note
There are some silly traditions (for example, that my family always had to have cheese fondue on New Year’s Eve even though I, for one, hated it), and then there are some that are downright nasty, like bull fights in Spain and female circumcision in some African countries.
All in all, I tend to be more wary of than gung-ho on things traditional, though, of course, there are also many good traditions that deserve to be retained, such as honesty, fairness, modesty, literacy and the like.

Written for Haiku Heights and tradition.

The kitchen haiku

Smell of onions fried
last night still wafts up – open door
or not? Mosquitos ...

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Instigated by Haiku Heights and Kitchen.

Notes
If there is anything I dislike about Rome, it is the plenty of its noiseless, blood-thirsty mosquitos. These guys give you no acoustic warning.
Once again, this is an all-true, razor-edge-of-time piece of poetry. Nothing invented, no artificial ingredients. About to go down to kitchen to open that door and see if there's some fruit for second breakfast.

Pol(s)ka

The unwritten Warsaw
ballet remains unwritten
until return.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

A contribution to Haiku Heights and ballet.

Notes
I'd promised myself that I would write one poem a day during my recent trip to Warsaw, Poland, and failed miserably. My diary contains entries from just two days out of four, and these are just notes on what happened or what I saw, nothing that could be called a poem. Of course, there are many valid excuses: lack of time alone, tiredness after lengthy excursions in Warsaw and other places in Poland, etc. You can't always write what you want, to quote the Rolling Stones.
However, I liked Poland so much that I'm ready to return any time, so that there is a chance that the Warsaw ballet will be written some day after all...

The rock, the mountain doubts the validity of his objectives

Today's horoscope read:

Do you doubt the validity of your objectives? Is it possible that you, the rock, the mountain, the bulldozer are having doubts? By golly, it is possible. While you are the master of concrete details, it seems you stumble when it comes to understanding the philosophy behind your plans. Assuming, of course, there is a philosophy. If not, this is the time to consider just what motivates you in your life...

Finally a horoscope that is halfway interesting and relevant!

Answers:
a. Yes, it is possible.
b. Most of the time I don't even feel like a rock or mountain.
c. I never feel like a bulldozer. It's nothing I aspire to be. Probably my tough luck!
d. I am into concrete details. Guilty of that.
e. Yes, I admit to stumbling.
f. Yes, I assume.
g. I am considering. Will let you know the results real soon.

Wake-Up Song

Most mornings I wake up with a song in my mind. I've been trying to determine what causes a particular song to be it on a particular day. Without any success so far.

This morning's song, for example, was a chanson by Serge Reggiani, the French singer and actor (1922-2004). I could not remember the title of the song, so I looked up the album on the Internet just now – it was simply called "Serge Reggiani" and released by Polydor in 1973. Reading the track list had me confused – had the song playing in my head been "Le vieux couple" or "Hôtel des voyageurs" or even "Contre vents et marées"? I could recall all of them in memory, even though I haven't listened to the album in years.

Confusion resolved: it was "Le vieux couple" after all – listened to it on Youtube (see link below).

So much on wake-up songs for now. Will probably explore this topic again soon.

Morning impression

Neighbor's out
on her balcony

Taking quick
decisive puffs

It's that neighbor
whose age

is in hot dispute
between Sadhana

and me. I
make her younger,

she insists on
beyond forty.

It's difficult
to tell

because we
only ever see her

in the shade
of the drawn

sunblind, always
puffing away

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2013)

Proverbs from the Chinese XII

"Never ponder a heave unless it is valid."

One more of those puzzling Chinese proverbs, but possibly just another bad translation. Anyway, it nicely contains today's three words from 3WW: heave, ponder and valid.

Somehow this leaves me pondering ...

Was it meant to say "Never heave a ponder unless ..."?

But even that does not seem particularly valid.

– Yours in Chinese mode Leonard Blumfeld

James M. Cain, The Cocktail Waitress

James
Cain's
Cocktail
Waitress is
the potboiler that
is boiling in my pot right now.

– Leonard "Crime Reader" Blumfeld

First fibonacci in a long time ... written upon inspiration by Poets United.