The dark day haiku

Carry a flashlight
to walk the streets of Rome – it
is that dark today.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
The truth and nothing but. The seemingly endless scorchers of summer 2020 have come to a dark and wet end for the time being.

Dunking simplified

Put the cookie in
your mouth, sip coffee, wait
until soggy, down.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
There are people with dunking problems, e.g. if the cookie disintegrates when dunked in the coffee (or tea or milk or whatever). Follow the above haiku to avoid this. Try it!

PS: I was going to write “down the hatch” instead of “down”, but that would have violated haiku rules.

Leave A Note

Played around with one of Jennifer Dewalt's sites called Leave A Note.

These are notes I left:

No idea why I was thinking of the Beatles, but this sure was fun, like many other of her sites.

By the way: The correct reading sequence is to start from the bottom.

Monosyllabic again

Oh no! What now? So
we’re fucked? Can’t be all true, no
way, Ho Say! Right-ho.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
I seem to remember having written and posted a monosyllabic haiku (don’t remember it or what it might have been about – but I have a chronically bad memory for things I’ve written, so nothing new there). 
Well, here comes another one. It cheats a little bit, because José actually has two syllables. However, I don’t think this will upset anyone excessively. 
Anyway, the general bias goes well with this year, which might go down in history as a year that was effed up in many ways.

PS: Did research and found the other one.

The a bad part of creation haiku

Smells blood, lands on you, 

inserts stinger, injects

saliva, sucks your blood.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Notes

Mosquitos: one of the worst parts of creation ever invented. And no, Mr. Darwin, I don’t believe this could possibly have come about all by itself – too devious. Selection of the nastiest?

The Donald Trump haiku

The mover and shaker
has moved to another golf course
to shake a few clubs.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
Doing the only thing he might be half good at. Besides spreading lies and clapping for himself, of course. The haiku is slightly overfilled, like the man himself.

The amazing prowess of Goggle ... oops ... you know what

   

Goggle keeps amazing the world! 

   

Not only is it the world's best search engine (how bad must the others be!) according to Internet statistics that appear to be virtually unanimous, but it also offers Goggle docs, which allow you to do anything you could possibly want ... except buying food and eating it while you're working on your Goggle docs.

However, there's one thing it doesn't like ... and considers a potential "grammar" issue:

DO NOT USE GOGGLE INSTEAD OF GOOGLE

The Laura Nyro haiku

I like her looks more 
than her singing and songs. 
Strange as it may seem.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
The plain truth. Someone on tumblr recently posted a song by Laura Nyro, which reminded me of the one album of hers – New York Tendaberry – I have. As a consequence, I spent about half an hour listening to Nyro on youtube, coming to the conclusion that my love for her music and style of singing has not grown during about a decade of not listening. 

The Windows update haiku

Walking around like
a tiger in a cage – Micro-
soft is updating.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Notes
The truth and nothing but. Well, except that I didn’t really turn into a tiger. But my anger is that of a caged big cat. It’s been going on for years – you are trying to get some work done while Microsoft nixes all your plans by doing an excruciatingly slow update it deems necessary for reasons even Microsoft probably doesn’t understand. Otherwise they would not constantly update their crap.

The in the office haiku

In my back a sound – 
if short, it’s the rolling of
a tire, if long: rain

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
It turned out to be short. Since there was no engine noise, it must have been an electric car or a hybrid in electric mode. Can such dissimilar sources cause similar sounds? But both alternatives presented themselves to me without conscious reflection as I was sitting in my office with my back to the window, not bothering to turn around to verify.