The desperate letters haiku

 

Writing half-withered
letters to Sea, the under-
standing blue houseplant

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note:
Inspired by a haiku by N. Gutierrez, turned inside out and deformed in other ways.

Photo by Antonio Grosz on Unsplash

The James Schuyler haiku

 

He had Brahms and Bruno 
Walter – both long dead – engaged in
lively conversation.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
All true! See James Schuyler’s poem A Man in Blue from Freely Espousing (1969).

Bruno Walter, conductor and pianist (1876-1962)
Johannes Brahms, composer, pianist, conductor (1833-1897)

My life as a hunter and gatherer

was short-lived. I could 
not kill animals and found 
only acorns to eat.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
There are some, mostly male chauvinists, who proclaim that they were meant to be hunters (while women were meant to be gatherers, of course) and that the failure of many men in current society can be explained by the alienation that is due to them not being able to go after their hunting business. So I pictured this return to nature for myself for a second, did a mental reality check and quickly returned to contemporary amenities (for example, a computer to write and publish stuff).

The dark day haiku

Carry a flashlight
to walk the streets of Rome – it
is that dark today.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
The truth and nothing but. The seemingly endless scorchers of summer 2020 have come to a dark and wet end for the time being.

Dunking simplified

Put the cookie in
your mouth, sip coffee, wait
until soggy, down.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
There are people with dunking problems, e.g. if the cookie disintegrates when dunked in the coffee (or tea or milk or whatever). Follow the above haiku to avoid this. Try it!

PS: I was going to write “down the hatch” instead of “down”, but that would have violated haiku rules.

Leave A Note

Played around with one of Jennifer Dewalt's sites called Leave A Note.

These are notes I left:

No idea why I was thinking of the Beatles, but this sure was fun, like many other of her sites.

By the way: The correct reading sequence is to start from the bottom.

Monosyllabic again

Oh no! What now? So
we’re fucked? Can’t be all true, no
way, Ho Say! Right-ho.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
I seem to remember having written and posted a monosyllabic haiku (don’t remember it or what it might have been about – but I have a chronically bad memory for things I’ve written, so nothing new there). 
Well, here comes another one. It cheats a little bit, because José actually has two syllables. However, I don’t think this will upset anyone excessively. 
Anyway, the general bias goes well with this year, which might go down in history as a year that was effed up in many ways.

PS: Did research and found the other one.

The a bad part of creation haiku

Smells blood, lands on you, 

inserts stinger, injects

saliva, sucks your blood.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Notes

Mosquitos: one of the worst parts of creation ever invented. And no, Mr. Darwin, I don’t believe this could possibly have come about all by itself – too devious. Selection of the nastiest?

The Donald Trump haiku

The mover and shaker
has moved to another golf course
to shake a few clubs.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2020)

Note
Doing the only thing he might be half good at. Besides spreading lies and clapping for himself, of course. The haiku is slightly overfilled, like the man himself.

The amazing prowess of Goggle ... oops ... you know what

   

Goggle keeps amazing the world! 

   

Not only is it the world's best search engine (how bad must the others be!) according to Internet statistics that appear to be virtually unanimous, but it also offers Goggle docs, which allow you to do anything you could possibly want ... except buying food and eating it while you're working on your Goggle docs.

However, there's one thing it doesn't like ... and considers a potential "grammar" issue:

DO NOT USE GOGGLE INSTEAD OF GOOGLE