The damn fine haiku

It was a fine poem
and was doing fine until
someone said stand down.
 
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2015)

Note
According to Ted Kooser and his column American Life in Poetry, American literature is full of fine poems. Yep, you got to pronounce that fine with some sort of corn belt accent to get the full meaning. The stand down part is popular in recent military Hollywood lingo. It is frequently used when we all (the audience) are meant to strongly feel that someone should actually not stand down. I added damn to the title because a damn fine poem is even finer than one that is just fine.

The fighting the addiction haiku

Succeeded! Did not
use or think of using smart-
phone for fourteen hours.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Note
Actually not that autobiographical. I’m perfectly happy being connected to the world normally and not through the damn gadget – unless I’m walking around taking pictures with it. Sometimes of people in public places staring into their smartphones.

The Francis Bacon face haiku

Looks like TV on
a windy day disturbing
the satellite dish.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Note
This poem was inspired by true events – we have a big eucalyptus outside whose branches and leaves interfere with satellite reception and cause such Bacon-like distorted faces. (Alludes to the 20th century artist (1909-1992), not the Elizabethan philosopher.)

The cannot fail to be poetic haiku

Pathetic words to
beat the crap out of your mind-
less astral body.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

And the inevitable note
Where did that one come from? From all the ball-twisting, tear-jerking poetry out there on the net.

The damn it I said haiku

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Written on Write A Haiku, which counts syllables for you and turns your outpourings into magnetic poetry.

The ostrich haiku

Stick your head in the
sand and wait; that is the art
of problem solving.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Note
All too often I catch myself doing exactly this kind of problem solving. Which is not easy to detect with your head in the sand...

The you must watch haiku

You must watch this ad
before you can see what
you wanted to see.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Note
A little kick at today’s coercive online advertising blackmail practices. (Is that a tautology? Doesn’t matter. Drives home the point.) This forced ad exposure reminds me of Stanley Kubricks’s film A Clockwork Orange (1971), where Malcolm McDowell’s eyes were kept open by force so he could not avoid seeing the things that were forced on him. With the aim of turning him into a nice guy from a criminal. So what’s the advertising forced upon us supposed to turn us into? Idiots who will eventually succumb and consume?

The candlelight installation haiku

Bucket-size candle
jars, jasmine water-filled, in
about any church.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Note
This one was sparked by a photo of an eminent contemporary conceptual artist's installation in a church in Santiago de Compostela, Spain. The jasmine water is my invention. Add a wick and paraffin, and it would probably burn nicely. I'm convinced it would smell good in any church. Priests, preachers, bishops, etc., please contact me for possible execution.

The extended burger and fries haiku

Let’s think of the pain
of the cows and potatoes – 
or rather not go there
and eat the damn thing.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Notes
This one's pretty much self-explanatory... I admit to having second thoughts every time I eat a hamburger somewhere. And the haiku is definitely extended.

The Heather Nova haiku

Dedicated to Alexa

Said my daughter: you’re
the only person I know 
who listens to her.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Notes
The truth and nothing but the truth (about the quote*). Out of the blue** I felt the urge to listen to Heather Nova’s London Rain and its healing effects*** today.

* Some evening in the early 2000s I ended up watching part of a Heather Nova concert on German TV, probably as a result of zapping through channels in search of something watchable. I don’t recall anyone else who comes off as ethereal on stage, as dreamy and enamored with singing with eyes closed. It’s something that can get too much. However, I ended up getting some Heather Nova CDs and playing them frequently when my daughter still lived at home. Hence the quote. I don’t think she liked H. N. very much. She preferred bands like The Back Street Boys back then.
** Does anything ever really occur out of the blue?
*** Nothing falls like London rain / Nothing heals me like you do