The grace haiku

Sitting in the sun,
watching the turtles play in
the warmth of the sun.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2015)

Note
The truth and nothing but the truth a few minutes ago when this came to me and I went upstairs to write it down. Italian sun in the middle of November...

Sweet music from next door

Her heart is full of
love and longing for someone.
Heavy metal gone.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2015)

Note
The truth and nothing but the truth about the teeny neighbor. May this soft phase last! It’s definitely easier on the ears.

Suzanne

Suzanne takes you down to her place by the river
– Leonard Cohen

Today, Suzanne mused again sentimentally on her blog about washing and its close relationship to loving and longing, hanging up bunches of unnatural things for drying. As if the sun would ever get to them down there by the river.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2015)

Notes
Mixed media – digestion of a poem about washing found on a blog and XOR operation with Leonard Cohen's song Suzanne. By the way, Leonard Cohen was the one who gave half of this pseudonym, the other half coming from Franz Kafka.

The Donald Trump haiku

Billions and not
a thing to sell. Billions.
No trump, none at all.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2015)

Note
Some people appear to have it all. Well, maybe in the bank. Other than that: nothing at all.

Final

Rose's jabs at me while we were having our weekly candlelight dinner at the Oasis, that place of Nouvelle Cuisine fine dining and excessive pricing, seemed a bit labored or even makeshift.

"There's something wrong with your jabs tonight, love," I said during a break.

She took her time chewing a morsel of boeuf whatever.

She cleared her throat; this was always a bad sign.

"My jabs, as you so conveniently call my part of our conversation, have come to an end. I'm leaving you."

"Don't tell me it's Julian Dent."

Julian Dent was her posh and good looking dentist. I'd long suspected that something might be going on there.

"No. It's not."

She took a sip from her glass of Merlot and savored it.

"Someone I know?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Your brother."

Now that was the final jab. Like one with a knife. And it had come easily from her, sounding neither labored nor makeshift.

She rose quietly and walked out of my life.

– Leonard Blumfeld ((c) 2015)

Written around jab, labored and makeshift from 3WW.

The thanks but no thanks haiku

To Elsie and her dog Chihuauzer

Thank you for your grrrr
picture. I know you love your
dog. But I do not.

– Leonard Blumfeld ((c) 2015)

Notes
All too often dog owners are so enamored with their furry friends that they assume everyone else loves them just as much (or should). Barking, penetrating and unwelcome interest, sniffing, showing teeth, planting paws on someone's chest are just a few choice items of dog behavior not everyone appreciates.
Disclaimer: I do not know anyone named Elsie, nor do I know a dog named Chihuauzer. However, I did know someone years ago who had a mutt resulting from the union of a chihuahua and a schnauzer and proclaimed that his dog was therefore a chihuauzer.

An excerpt from an interview with Anna K., actress

“I hate smoking, especially Lucky Strikes.
And I hate kissing – or worse –, especially old lechers like [name omitted], my so-called romantic partner in my most recent film.
Ha!
Both make me vomit, and that’s not a good thing to do in front of the camera.”

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2015)

Disclaimer
Some names have been shortened or suppressed to avoid legal issues.

Witticism

Actors are supposed to act like normal people, but more often than not it's the other way round.

– Leonard Blumfeld

Throwing sand into the wind

She went to the sandy beach to throw sand into the wind.
She threw sand.
She threw more sand.
She kept throwing sand.
Into the wind, which was sometimes stronger
and sometimes milder
and sometimes blew the sand into her face.

"Why are you doing this?" a voice said.
"It's a statement."
"What kind of a statement?"
"It's a concept."
"What kind of a concept?"
"It's art."
"But there's no-one around to watch it."
"That's part of the concept."
"I see."
"Plus there's always the universe and eternity."

– Leonard Blumfeld ((c) 2015)

About A. H.

What a nasty, greasy character to have ignited this hellish chapter in the history of mankind.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2015)

Written around the words greasy, hellish and ignite from 3WW.

Note
No need to explain who this refers to. At least I should hope so.