Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Nearer, up close

Verde, que te quiero verde
– Federico García Lorca
My smooth approach
did not help –
again, again
its green smoothness eluded me

I approached harshly
this time,
and its smooth greenness
shrank away

Again, again –
do not approach me smoothly

Who are you
to sneak like this?

I knew about you,
from the start, your steps
make my quartz structure
tremble

Again, again
my green

Approach me
with me in mind

Approach me green,
you’ll be inside,
you will be smoothly


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2008)

Note
Written in response to today’s prompt at Three Word Wednesday, which was to write using these three words: approach, bottle, smooth. In García Lorca’s poem the wind is green ... here it’s a prosaic bottle. Or is it?

Oops
Just noticed that I did not use bottle! Well, since it's all about one, do I need to name it?

5 comments:

tumblewords said...

So. You missed a word. I missed that until you mentioned it! Nice post, it rolled right along.

Leonard Blumfeld said...

Thanks, tumblewords.

I had "bottle" in there originally, but removed it in the course of revision, and then did not even miss its absence.

gautami tripathy said...

It conjures up the image of a bottle. I suppose, the word is not needed..:-)

I liked green smoothness..

bag and baggage

rwellsrwells said...

Nicely done, I liked the plays on green and smoothly a lot. As to the bottle - it's the thought that counts. Dayenu.

Whiskey...Whiskey

TC said...

I wouldn't have noticed had you not pointed it out :)

You might think I'm crazy, but since you started out with Lorca's poetry first, I thought you were writing about Absinthe for most of the poem.