Sunday, December 20, 2009

Do I call it dare?

What have I dared this year?

Like a trapeze artist without a backup net, I dared to break off a relationship with a woman who was in love with me (at least she told me so, and it looked like it to me). Why? I did not love her the same way. I was in love with her briefly, but the initial infatuation faded within a few weeks, to be replaced by thoughts of the woman I was really in love with, had loved for close to a year and had attempted to forget by starting a relationship with another.

Alas, my beloved one told me in very clear words that she did not reciprocate (on one occasion) and that she saw no future for us (on another occasion).

Still, I dared to follow my heart and received, in the course of this year, ups and downs galore, a few days of happiness with my beloved and other days of piercing pain.

All in all I often feel like I'm living in two worlds (similar to J. Nash in A Beautiful Mind) that are both cohesive in themselves ... but of which only one is real. Yes, you guessed it, it's the one with the piercing pain.

Hopefully it's all good for something. Some learning experience perhaps.

Daring or idiocy? That is the question.

- Leonard "Truth or Dare" Blumfeld

Written upon inspiration by Sunday Scribblings. Many of the ups and downs mentioned are recorded in this blog in more or less subtly encrypted form.


alphawoman said...

One must always follow the heart. What ele is there really?

Lilibeth said...

Daring doesn't always promise the best solution...does it?

Linda Jacobs said...

Just love yourself, first!

Heartfelt writing!

keiths ramblings said...

Right or wrong? You'll never really know

linda may said...

Ah mate....who can explain nature's laws of attraction.

Dee Martin said...

I hope you find resolution. I think it is the right thing though, to chose to be alone, rather than stay in a relationship with someone we don't really love.