Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts

Friday, November 3, 2017

The artificial intelligence haiku

Stop second guessing
and correcting what I have
to say, you dumbshit.

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Notes
Needs to be urgently said before this artificial so-called “intelligence” takes over everything completely. Like Google: “Did you mean ...?” NO, I DEFINITELY DID NOT! STOP QUESTIONING MY INTELLIGENCE, YOU ARTIFICIAL NITWIT and then presenting “sponsored” results I did not ask for.

Stop putting words in my mouth (or under my fingers), Android! You are not even vaguely an android but a stupidly programmed piece of idiocy.

Long live artificial inanity – it shall eventually achieve its ultimate goal: to stop everyone from doing their own thinking.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

The age of well-ventilated knees

These days of torn pants may well be remembered as the age of well-ventilated knees by future generations.

(Who knows - doctors may remember them best for the increase in osteoarthritis ...)

Friday, June 10, 2016

The life, sex, death haiku

Life evaded her.
Sex mostly evaded her.
Death evaded her.


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2016)

Note
As we all know and have been told by countless pundits countless times, all good poems, novels, novellas, stories, movies and life in general are about life, sex or death. Or one or two of the three. Or all three, just like the purely fictitious, brutally honest and minimally mysterious ball breaker above.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

The nonessential haiku

Spent about one hour
doing the nonessential
so far this morning.
– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2015)

Notes
Now that I've written that I'm going to do something essential and go for a walk.