Wednesday, June 28, 2017

वैन गो कान से मुकत हो गए

वैन गो कान से मुकत हो गए 

उनको  सुनने की ज़रूरत नहीं थीं :

उन्होंने पहले से ही अपनी दिव्य आवाज को भीतर से सुना

 

अल-माररी को वास्तव में इतना ज़्यादा दिखाई देता 

कि उनको अपनी 

आँखों की ज़रूरत नहीं पड़ी ।   

 

चारेंट्स की कब्र नहीं है 

क्योंकि 

वह हमेशा अमर रहेंगे । 

 

मैं अपने बाएँ हाथ से लोगों का स्वागत करता हूँ 

क्योंकि मैं अपने दाहिने हाथ से 

भगवान को अभिनन्दन कर रहा हूँ । 

 

एडवर्ड हारेंट्स

    

The surreal surprise haiku

Black, black cherries. And
suddenly an eruption
of earwigs, earwigs.


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Did not happen quite that way. But I started eating a nectarine when a big earwig fell out of the pit, which had partially split the way it sometimes happens with nectarines. That was surreal enough, actually. But then I thought of a pile of black cherries and discovering, when taking a closer look, that there were masses of earwigs underneath a thin layer of cherries...

Sunday, June 18, 2017

The brutal reality haiku

If it's not fake, it's
most likely war, injustice,
fraud or betrayal.


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
A somewhat pessimistic view of what’s going on in the world.
What brought that on?
Looking at the news, I suppose, suppressing the few hopeful items that are reported on now and then as well as advertising, which suggests that everything is fun and games if you buy the right products.

Monday, May 15, 2017

The big business haiku

Spotless pin stripe suits
and nothing but shit in their
dirty underpants.


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Would I ever write a haiku without a note? Naw!
This little one is pretty much self-explanatory, I would think. For anyone who might not get it: big business is two-faced ... on the pretty side it’s all advertising (premium products, service excellence, best customer experience, bla bla bla), on the stinky side it’s all about exploiting their workers and suppliers down to the shameless hilt (and preferably beyond). Anything that serves the greed of the top tier and makes them rich.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Time travel Bengali style

(Another one-line movie quickshot)


Abby Sen (2015) is a beautifully filmed time travel drama/comedy that is well worth watching - but do not expect this to be an action movie; this is a detail and character-oriented film that takes its time and is ultimately very rewarding.

Directed by Atanu Ghosh, starring Abir Chatterjee, Raima Sen, Chiranjeet Chakraborty, Bratya Basu, and Priyanka Sarkar.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

The oh Windows poem

(Small ode to updatitis)

My computer has just received
the latest Windows update

Which means it’ll be busy
Microsofting for an hour or so

Instead of doing
what it needs to do

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Once in a while I let Windows install an update and immediately regret it because it means that the PC will be slow as a snail for at least an hour afterwards doing God knows Microsoft what instead of working for me.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

The failed poetry haiku

Objects juxtaposed
and not filled with poetic
meaning – fail! Fail! Fie!


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Elucidating note
Such objects or emotional weight carriers might be, for example: evening, window across, still unbegun, longing, promise, return, unspoken, unsaid, arm of love, fingers touching the heart, castles in the air (don’t call them pipe dreams, that removes the poetic component), etc.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

The age of well-ventilated knees

These days of torn pants may well be remembered as the age of well-ventilated knees by future generations.

(Who knows - doctors may remember them best for the increase in osteoarthritis ...)

Saturday, March 18, 2017

The opium haiku

This so-called fragrance
is an allergen. Makes me
sneeze. Kills small animals.


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Based on facts! Even though at least one person I know and love would contradict me vehemently and keeps wearing it.

Disclaimer
Does not refer to the drug.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Gods of Egypt

(Another movie one-liner)

An overblown piece of Hollywood fantacrap with shitloads of tiring special effects – don't waste your money on this one.

– Leonard Blumfeld

Note
Refers to the 2016 film Gods of Egypt, directed by Alex Proyas and starring Gerard Butler – darkened somewhat to look particularly sinister – and a slew of other ethnically incorrect white actors. If you want to find out something worthwhile about ancient Egypt or Egyptian deities, give this bore a miss and visit your local library.

The sideburn haiku

That should do – shave off
the sideburns along with the
frontburns and backburns.


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Wonder what it would look like if someone did that?

Friday, February 17, 2017

Happy happy felicity

The Linguasso Text Collage generator is alive and well! It generated this collage for me and made me chuckle heartily. Try it out for yourself ...

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

A mostly stolen haiku

In the box
nothing
laughing


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
What happened here is that I read someone’s haiku, which had something (some object I can’t recall) in place of the nothing and seemed quite flat. So, to pep things up a bit and introduce some leaping* element, I used nothing instead. Try to imagine nothing laughing. What would that laughter look like/sound like? Nothing has no face, no voice. Quite apart from the fact that this haiku is seriously underfilled by common syllabic standards.

* Cf. Robert Bly, Leaping Poetry

Monday, February 6, 2017

The Hateful Eight

(One-line movie quickshots)

A lengthy exercise in Tarantinoism - no need to waste your time on that one.

- Leonard Blumfeld

Note
This quickshot refers to the 2015 film The Hateful Eight, directed by Quentin Tarantino and starring Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell and Jennifer Jason Leigh and others. Go ahead and watch if you get off on cruelty, gore, etc.

Friday, February 3, 2017

A cough next door at 1 p.m.

(Another truthful haiku)

She must be rising
after last night’s 4 o’clock
boyfriend shouting match


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Nothing but the truth reported here. The dear neighbor girl came home with her latest sweetheart around 11 last night, exposed the entire neighborhood to rumba zumba music for an hour and later proceeded to have it out publicly with the guy down below between 4 and 5 in the morning.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

A Sunday morning haiku

Woken up by the
bark of a dog named Leila
passing by below.


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Of course I wouldn’t have known the dog’s name if her master hadn’t said it as he was trying to calm her down. Rome, January 29, 2017, 9:22 a.m.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

The rhymed morning note haiku

Darling, I’m going
very far – I’m on my way
to the coffee bar.


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Completely authentic. Conceived in my head en tour to that said establishment.

Monday, January 2, 2017

The what does that bode for Rome haiku

January 2, 2017

Productivity:
piles of fresh dogshit along
the sidewalks today


– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2017)

Note
Sad to say, the first poem this year starts on a disgusting note. However, the scats were too numerous and strategically placed to go unnoticed. Oh well.