Sunday, December 20, 2009

Do I call it dare?

What have I dared this year?

Like a trapeze artist without a backup net, I dared to break off a relationship with a woman who was in love with me (at least she told me so, and it looked like it to me). Why? I did not love her the same way. I was in love with her briefly, but the initial infatuation faded within a few weeks, to be replaced by thoughts of the woman I was really in love with, had loved for close to a year and had attempted to forget by starting a relationship with another.

Alas, my beloved one told me in very clear words that she did not reciprocate (on one occasion) and that she saw no future for us (on another occasion).

Still, I dared to follow my heart and received, in the course of this year, ups and downs galore, a few days of happiness with my beloved and other days of piercing pain.

All in all I often feel like I'm living in two worlds (similar to J. Nash in A Beautiful Mind) that are both cohesive in themselves ... but of which only one is real. Yes, you guessed it, it's the one with the piercing pain.

Hopefully it's all good for something. Some learning experience perhaps.

Daring or idiocy? That is the question.

- Leonard "Truth or Dare" Blumfeld

Written upon inspiration by Sunday Scribblings. Many of the ups and downs mentioned are recorded in this blog in more or less subtly encrypted form.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Bleak house

Bleak house,
mean hiccup,
queer lantern.

Bleak approach,
looming hiccup,
queer sax.

Bleak landing,
dazed hiccup,
queer knack.

– Leonard "García" Blumfeld

Written to involve Bleak, Hiccup and Queer from 3WW in various. somewhat García Lorcaesque ways.

Such an intense exchange of glances

and now I wonder about sustainability!

Am I the ultimate sentimental myth maker I sometimes think I am? (Based on the fact that I see whole landscapes where others merely perceive a wall.)

Nevertheless: my love looks stunning today – I'm awed and humbled that such beauty exists.

– Leonard "Mythologist" Blumfeld

Saturday, December 12, 2009

So grave

"Something grave happened today!"
"What do you mean?"
"Your lithe body is no longer lithe. Did someone offend you? Did I offend you?"

She cried on my shoulder.
"You would never offend me. You couldn't possibly."
"You never know. – But tell me what happened."
"It's silly. I'm sure I'm exaggerating. Except that I can't help but feeling down like this."
"Tell me."
"My daughter loathes me, and I got my income tax statement back today. I owe them money and I don't have any! How can this be?"
"Now, now. We'll look at this one at a time. First off, why do you think your daughter loathes you?"

She told me about both troubles, and some of her litheness returned as she was doing so and we were thinking of ways for her to come out of the fog – familial and financial.

– Leonard "Some Shoulder to Cry on" Blumfeld

Written around grave, lithe and offend from 3WW.

The she is warming up to me after all fib

For my usual recipient of poetry

How
nice!
She did
not ask and
simply took a stick
of gum from the shelf in the car
as I was driving
her home. A
tender
start.
Yea!

– Leonard Blumfeld (© 2009)

Based on a true occurrence a while back.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The little vampire fib

Have
I
got my-
self one more
little vampire to
suck blood and keep me addicted?

– Leonard "Sucker" Blumfeld

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Nicely curved

... and patterned


Photo of a stranded jelly fish for Photo Hunt and Curved.

The without you fib

For A.B.

How
long
will I
find ways in
myself to suffer
spending so much time without you?


– Leonard “Without Her” Blumfeld (© 2009)

Posted as an entry for Sunday Scribblings' Weird. What's the connection – what does this fibonacci have to do with weirdness? Well, it's about the weird game of perceived true love, perceived self-deception, renewed hope, renewed attraction, inability to let go I've been playing with and against myself for close to two years now. What stamina! That is weird, isn't it?